Vegan for a Week! – Day 1

Hi you guys and welcome to my first day of being a vegan!

So far so good – I had a good breakfast, something I would typically eat anyway. Breakfast was oatmeal (one of my favorite breakfast meals!) with toast and jam. The one disappointing thing about breakfast was that I couldn’t enjoy butter and cinnamon sugar on my toast as usual, but jelly sufficed and it was delicious anyway! I always drink my coffee black, so there was no need for any non-dairy creamer or sugar.

I skipped lunch and just ate a snack. My snack was Veggie Stix – my favorite vegan food so far ;)! Those were delicious and I scarfed down an entire zip lock back of them.

For dinner, I decided to get my cooking on, and I made my Vegan Sloppy Joes.
IMG_5148I made them according to the recipe (but I had to add ketchup instead of tomato paste since we were out of it), and then I enhanced the flavor with the special recipe on the bottom.

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I added about half of a large tomato, diced, and half of a medium sized white onion.

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Then, I mixed in chili powder, brown sugar (too much brown sugar I think 🙂 ), and some basil.

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Sauteed the onions and then added the other ingredients to the pre-made sloppy joe mix, and then let them all simmer together in the pan the onions were caramelizing in.

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Turned out very good! I ate it with some fresh rice, and a side of apple sauce and juice as a drink.

IMG_5160I highly recommend this as a good vegan food – for someone who loves sloppy joes to begin with, these weren’t bad!

Check out my Day 1 Vlog, and I will see you tomorrow for Vegan Day 2 !

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Vegan for a Week! +Vegan Food Haul

Hi you guys!

I haven’t written a post for a LONG time, but I’m here today to tell you about my newest life adventure, and that is VEGANISM! (Is that a word?)

So, I went to a Runner’s Expo and got a free sample of these things called “Uberbars” and they are delicious! After eating one, I realized it was vegan and told someone “wow these are good, I can go vegan for a week” and their first response was “LOL no you won’t.” Later on, I told my best most amazing friend that I was going to go vegan for a week and she laughed in my face. So , long story short, I am proving a point now that I CAN and WILL go vegan for a week!

So, I went vegan food shopping at a natural market near my house and I got some food! Here’s a picture of it and a video showing you the food 🙂
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I will be making daily updates on foods I eat and how miserable/not miserable I am. So stay tuned for more veganism!!

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In Class Blogging: Nervous Edition

Today sucks. Weird things have been happening.

 
I fell asleep last night while not home and didn’t come home until 330. First of all, let me just tell you- I don’t even remember coming hone. Do not drive while sleepy. So I got home, and there was a light on in the living room.  I walk in….the light is off…. So I go over in my dreamy state of mind and see my mother planking on the living room floor. I don’t even know why. I don’t know if she was doing something sketchy or if she was hiding out for me. 
 
Then I wake up this morning and can’t get out of bed. Then I wake up again and it’s 9am…. And I am 30 minutes late for my first class of the day. At this point, I’m like okay looks like I’m going in for 2 classes today. So instead of getting up and getting ready, I fucking lay in bed and look up the breakfast hours of McDonalds, and the menus at Royal Farms and Dunkin Donuts.
 
Finally at like 945 I go downstairs and proceed to eat 4 waffles, have coffee and some juice. I eventually get into the shower at 1015 and I’m finally ready to leave my house, with soaking wet hair, at 11…the absolute latest time I could leave at. 
 
It’s raining of course and I get to school 5 minutes before my class starts. I ended up having to pay at the meters for parking because I had NO time to look for an empty spot. So I get to class, suffer through it and now I’m in my “Issues in Healthcare” class wondering what the hell is the point of this class. 
 
I can’t concentrate on a single thing because apparently my dad wants to talk to me when I get home. That’s the worst. Someone that needs to talk to you BUT YOU HAVE TO WAIT. And you have an idea of what if might be about but you let you mind wander like WHAT IF HES MAD?! I should chill out because I haven’t done anything wrong, but the suspense is killing me.
 
In other news, I hope he’s home in time to talk to me and for me to get to the Wizards game tonight. I’m going a field study/ethnography project and the Wizards game is where I picked to study. Should be fun. Plus tickets were TWO BUCKS. 
 
Class is over in 30 minutes. Until then… I will be sitting here over obsessing over every little thing that has happened today.
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Late Night Blogging: Insomnia Edition

It’s 2 am and I can’t sleep. It’s one of those nights when you question your entire existence.

 
Tonight was my brother’s birthday dinner out and it was my family and his girlfriend and our 2 friends. Everyone but my mom and I (DDs!) was pretty drunk since we went to a brewery, and my brother’s girlfriend ended up (accidentally maybe) opening up to me.
 
She told me she was intimidated by me and that I make her feel uncomfortable. I don’t even know how to feel about that. I have no clue how I could ever intimidate anyone. How anyone would be scared of me or jealous of me or anything. I mean, there’s really nothing special going on over here, so that just made me feel bad that I ever made her feel like she should feel the way she does towards me.
 
But, I can’t exactly argue with the “you make me uncomfortable” comment. I don’t know what it is I do or how I act, but my dad had told me this before… I wish I could figure out what it is that makes people uncomfortable so I could fix it. I absolutely hate when I feel uncomfortable around other people, so now I just feel bad.
 
I don’t mean for it to seem like she made me feel bad because she was being honest. You can’t ever be mad at someone for being honest. You can only take their comments and have your own revelation I guess. Even if that means you still aren’t sleeping hours after you laid down.
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2012

I got a little inspiration last night looking through someone’s Facebook with them. They had this list of why 2012 was a pretty good year (during NYE Im sure), and it kind of got me thinking about my 2012. 

 
It’s funny how different things are all the time, at least for me. 2012 was the year I dated people who were just the wrong fucking people in more ways than one. It’s weird because I never wanted a boyfriend because I thought that most boys were just sodding idiots. I don’t know what changed, but something definitely did. 
 
My boyfriend last year to begin the year with wasn’t even really my boyfriend. I never wanted to admit to it because I fuckin hated him. Yep. I dated someone I hated. I don’t know why or what I was doing, but he was the scum of the Earth…and it’s not even me he was screwing over that made me realize this. He told me he loved me after a month and I told him it was infatuation. It’s not that I don’t believe in love after a month (I have no clue actually) but I just didn’t think he could love anyone but himself.
 
Fast forward to the summer. I met Jake in the summer and we spent one week together. It’s pretty funny thinking back on it now. How I kept trying to convince myself that he liked me a lot when he wasn’t even going to be around for me ever. No hard feelings there, but that wouldn’t have worked anyway. He was really into drugs, and kind of dumb. 
 
But I think meeting Jake was a good thing because it’s what helped me start accepting guys in my life as more than a friend.
 
I was forced to pick between Jake and my ex before my ex was even my boyfriend, and I picked my ex. Obviously. And I don’t know why. I guess I was just happy drunk all the time that it seemed like a good idea.
 
It wasn’t a good idea though. The 5 or so months I was with him, I constantly felt like shit. I haven’t ranted about this on my blog yet, so I might as well during this reflection:
1- I was constantly manipulated into doing things I didn’t want to do to avoid fights 
2- I had to deal with a very passive aggressive person at all times, as if I was constantly skating on thin ice, who never could admit if they were in the wrong
3- This person was way more emotional than I was, and I was constantly being put down about it. I had to try and change my personality that he obviously couldn’t handle 
4- I was expected to do a lot of things that were never expected of him: I had to constantly praise this person for them to feel like I cared, I had to drive 15 miles all the time to his house and would get a bunch of grief if he had to pick me up, I had to constantly say sorry for things that were so minuscule but if I had a problem, there was a fight about how horrible of a person I was. I was expected to be perfect which is something I know shouldn’t be required from anyone.
5- I was threatened with breakups a few times…. I should’ve accepted the first one looking back on it now. 
 
Thinking back I feel like I should be mad at myself for letting him manipulate me Iike that, when I didn’t even want to be with him past the 3 month mark. But, I can’t help how other people act, I can only deal with it and look out for myself. 
 
So 3 guys in 12 months and what do I have to show for it? That you’ve got to date someone you like. No more saying yes to a date just to be nice. No more feeling like you owe someone something, because people have the tendency of being temporary if they try to change you. No more being scared of hurting someone’s feelings if they clearly don’t even care about yours. I can’t be with people, friends and boyfriends, that think I’d be better if “this happened”, or if I was different. 
 
And I guess most surprising to me is that I haven’t let any of this affect me negatively. I’m trying really hard to be positive because life isn’t as bad as it seems. I’m not the same girl I was last spring that didn’t even believe relationships were worth any time or attention. I’m not the same person that was pissed off all the time. Being happy is my main goal for this year, and although I’m one month late thinking about it, I’d say I’m doing pretty good so far. 
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“Karen”

For my creative writing class, we all had to write about something we wrote about in a class, and I chose my name. After reading it out loud, I figured it sounded a lot like stuff I’ve written on here before, so here it is in all its raw glory:

I don’t know if everyone is like this, but I can say a lot about my name. Does that make me egotistical? I don’t even have a cool name like Florence or Lights or Marina (all female idols of mine). My name is simply Karen. The typical spelling. No Cs or Ys or anything different like that. 

I could tell you a lot about my boring name though, don’t get me wrong. 

I could tell you that my parents named me Karen because of one reason: “we liked it.” My parents clearly don’t care about hidden meanings like I do. What if Karen meant demon seed? Destined for failure? I guess we should just be glad I wasn’t in charge of naming myself, or I might still be no one.

I could also tell you that I met a boy over the summer who really liked me, but really hated my name. I remember driving on 195 en route to a barbecue when he asked if he could call me “Kar,” “Karmen” or “Elizabeth” – my middle name. I’m no feminist but I’m not about to let a guy call me what he pleases. I remember this being one of the only times I actually wanted to be called Karen. 

Speaking of boys, I could tell you of another boy who looked up my name in Urban Dictionary while I looked up his. Apparently I am a perfect human being and if you look up “awesome” in the dictionary, you’ll find me. I will neither confirm nor deny that. 

Another thing about my name, is that autocorrect on the iPhone loves to fix it. I guess “Karen” isn’t special enough for Apple either. I am often referred to as “Katen,” “Laren,” “Laten,” and my personal favorite “Larbe.” 

So of all the things I could ramble on about, what’s the most important part of my name? The fact that it’s a mom name. Have you ever met a Karen that’s not a mom? Me neither, and that’s what I love. I love that I am different then your typical soccer practice and “be home for dinner” Karen mom. That’s my thing; I like to be different. Maybe it’s all in my non-mom Karen head, but it’s good enough for me to get by with such a plain name that I don’t ever plan on changing.

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Letting Go

Wow. Blogging from my iPhone is so difficult. And yes, I did get an iPhone for Christmas no matter how much I hated iPhone users. Still feel the same way….but that’s not what this post is about.

 
I feel like I’m always stuck in the middle of feeling a certain way about something. Like the other day I was laughing over some blackmail I have, but will never ever use, and my best friend told me it was mean. I mean, I was fucking laughing so hard at it, and then I felt bad. I don’t know if it’s because I’m so guilty or because of the fact that I would actually feel bad if I was in that persons shoes. Regardless, that’s what I mean about being in the middle of feeling a way about something. 
 
So what’s my point? I’ve been dealing with a lot of people that can’t let go, and it’s confusing me. People that I love all seem to love to torture themselves over someone they seriously can’t let go of. Or maybe it’s the idea of something they can’t seem to set free. So many of my friends are still in contact with people that broke their hearts, or ruined their friendships, or just aren’t good for them at all. I wish I could tell them all to stop, think about themselves and all the other people that love them, but I’m in no position to tell someone what to do with their life. 
 
If it were me, I would cut all ties with the person and pretend like it never happened. But is that really okay? No, I don’t think so. I’ve regretted my actions and what I’ve said to people and how I’ve treated them. I’ve also regretted putting up with the way people talk and treat me. But, I could never regret what I’ve learned from these experiences. So to throw them away just seems so unlike my character.
 
I guess I’m just confused why people can’t seem to let go. Or, if letting go so easily, like I do, is a bad thing. It’s not that these people meant nothing to me, it’s just that they no longer mean anything to me. Yeah, it hurts to hear, but I’m always looking towards the next person to fill in a space they’ve now left in me. That next person is usually a whole new experience in itself, and I love that. I don’t love that I am always afraid of what might happen, what will ruin our trust, and what will make me let go of them.
 
I don’t know if that’s normal… Cutting people out of your life. Letting go like it never happened. But, then again, I’m not very normal to begin with.
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Life Updates

Wow! I haven’t written a personal post on my PERSONAL BLOG for so long!

So what’s been up with me lately? So much. So much new and exciting shit! Finally broke up with my boyfriend (who hopefully doesn’t read my blog anymore) after a month of feeling like shit. I remember thinking “wow I wish I had never met him, and we never got together” but in all honesty, I’m glad it happened. It’s all about learning from your mistakes and learning about yourself through a relationship. I learned that I need to date someone who is more like me, who has a sense of humor, and who is understanding.

Speaking of someone more like me…I am the definition of “Timing is Everything” (great song by Lights!). At work, following my break up, I told my close friend Connor all about it, and after our talk he says “good, because Ryan and I were talking about you.” I met Ryan the Friday before I broke up with my boyfriend, but I didn’t even think anything of him, which is my mistake because he is literally ME. When I say that, I mean that we are pretty much 80% the same haha! The way we started talking was over hockey – man’s greatest sports invention. Come to find out through long e-mails back and forth, his favorite sport is baseball (a sport NO ONE likes anymore, but I LOVE!!), his favorite show is Lost (I can’t make this shit up), and the Flyers are playing the Capitals (his favorite hockey team) this upcoming Friday. So guess what I’m doing this Friday? 🙂 Yep! Hockey date, the perfect date.

In other news, I’ve seen so much more of my friends lately, being out of my relationship. I had a fun night with Cj and an old friend Taylor this past Tuesday. Pretty much consider Natalya and Meagan my sisters, and we’re getting together soon because Meagan is moving 😦 ! I’m going shopping with my friend Chris because he needs me there for moral support. And since school is starting up, I get to see Danielle every T/Th now!!

Lastly, I wanted to give everyone some advice. I asked someone the other day, “what do you do when you don’t know what to do?” I figured out the answer, like George Baily in “It’s a Wonderful Life”… you ask Dad.

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N. Node is in 12 Degrees Sagittarius

You will probably have many different contacts and acquaintances throughout your life. You’re quite gregarious by nature and your natural curiosity about others lets you take the lead in forming new relationships. You’ll form close ties with those who have similarly idealistic ideas — especially those who can stimulate you intellectually in your chosen field of interest. Your enthusiasm for learning new things may also cause you to do quite a bit of traveling. Because you probably will have many wide-ranging interests and concerns, you most likely will have contacts and connections in various parts of the country (or world).

YES – my N Node is right! Different contacts and acquaintances are my favorite. People are my favorite (and least favorite HA!) part of life. I really am so curious about others – the stranger you look, the more different you seem to be, the more I will be drawn to you instantly. Key word, instantly. I like to meet everyone, but if you are a curious person in my eye, I will fixate on you like no other, and I will form that new relationship. I do like people that can stimulate me and we can have cool conversations, but I do like a lot of laughter too. If you can make me laugh, I will most likely talk to you more, and throughout a day. But, I guess there’s always room for conversations some time. Yes, I would love to travel, and what I think my N Node is talking about – “learning new things” – I think it’s talking about learning new food tastes! HA! I love to travel, and I want to eat every kind of food in every kind of area. My interests are SO widely ranged – sports, music, spirituality, zodiac, technology, arts, crafts, food – and I have connections with people on every category.

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Pluto is in 24 Degrees Scorpio

For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search.

Don’t see how this pertains to me specifically, but I get the generation thing. Yay research and discovery, everyone loves it because it’s up and coming and everyone wants to be the first to discover something!! But I don’t care.

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